Gordie: Pulling it all together

[Zues126]

We all live in our own realities, our own narratives, our own imaginations.

There are things that help keep those realities in check. A fixed external belief system that doesn't sway in the breeze of emotions. A good mix of friends that aren't afraid to call us on our bs. Self reflection and humility to know better than to trust ourselves too much.

I think WWs have an easy time getting hooked on fantasy. A fantasy is like a fire. One person starts the spark. Then the more people go along with it, the more fuel is on the fire. And when a WAW rewrites history or blames LBH, it's not hard to get support. She just has to go to a bar or hop on the internet and say 'hey guys, I'll hook up with the first guy that agrees with me the sky is purple'. Pretty soon she's surrounded with purple sky-ers. Meanwhile her friends and family that call her on her bs are just 'de-friended', ain't no one got time for that kind of inconvenient feedback. (This isn't to say that WAH's don't go down the exact same road, but I'm just speaking about WW's for now)

It's an addiction, and it's one of the toughest kinds because it isn't as tangible. It's not like heroin where it's pretty clear that if there is usage there's a problem. It's more like overeating, where it's blurry. We have to eat, but when is it an issue? So too with fantasy, there are blurry lines that make it easy for people to rationalize away. Of course, once they are shacking up with other people and walking out on their families it's a little more noticeable, but even then there is always a spin. "He's not the OM breaking up a marriage...I was being abused, my self was being destroyed, LBH was killing me, I was dying inside, OM was the support I needed to escape that trauma and preserve myself..." Oh, I didn't realize! You poor thing. Let me help you move your things into OM's apartment!

Weird world we live in, isn't it?