If you believe that life has to be suffered then life will keep showing up in a way that allows you to suffer. Your beliefs are as a live as you are, and your choices and perspective are shaped by them. Also you will make choices and live in fear that every action you take and every desicion you make will lead to more and more suffering. An thus you will experience a your life as hard, difficult challenging and a struggle.
Don't get me wrong a certain level of stress and discomfort is necessary in life, it moves us forward toward new achievements and to our best authetenic self. But my feeling about your words and actions JujuB, is you live a life essentially based on belief that your always one step away from a great disaster or catastoph and the other is that I have to do everything on my own'.
We have talked alot about your beliefs about what type of man would want to take you on with your special needs son. Now you are sharing your beliefs about only being able to financially thrive if you are in partnership.
So for now JujuB, if you believe it will be so, it will be so.
As Henry Ford said "Whether you think you can, or you think you can't, your right"
I consider you a friend JujuB and hope there comes a time when you can let go of the fear of what if! and embrace the excitement of what if?.
