I've turned over that thought for a while ... is it the fantasy for the particular POM that sparked the MLC, or was it going to happen anyway?

If that guy didn't come into our lives, would she have found someone else to fantasize about, or come up with some other fracture in our marriage....

I think it would have happened anyway.

Me: 50, MLC/WW 45
Young kids
Nov 2015: BD1
Apr 2016: BD2
Jan 2017: W filed
Feb 2017: D final