I think that your mind is playing tricks on you and you are going round in circle. I had an interesting training today regarding mental health issue and how to manage stress. It all come down to your thoughts. What was said is that you have situation that triggers your thoughts which in return triggers your physical and your emotional symptoms and all this has a consequence your behaviour. The talk was that if we can turn our negative thoughts into positive the outcome is a lot better.
If you could challenge your negative thoughts you have won half of the battle.I was crippled with negativity (still am when I have to be in touch with ex, so i'll work on it), but I'm getting better at it and I can tell you that now I see life on a brighter side. If I can do it, so do you.
Tell me one good thing that happened today. It is with small step that we will overcome this.