How Do We Know If Its MLC or If They Are Really Sa

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...book is an excellent one to read. I read it many, many years ago and it truly opened my eyes to my xh's PA behavior. One thing you need to understand, you can change the dynamics of your situation if you don't fall into his hole w/him. If he's late all of the time, then you have a Plan B and go w/it. In my case, my xh was late for meals, so I started eating w/o him. Every time we were planning to go somewhere and had a time to be at a specific function he would run and sit on the toilet and make us late. So, what did I do? I finally got fed up w/the behavior and advise him that I was going to go on to the function and if he wished to attend, he could drive himself. Guess what! He started being on time.

PA is a "learned" behavior for childhood. It's when a child has been basically told to shut up or do what I told you to do w/o being given an opportunity to express themselves, i.e., sound familiar? It's a bit of an emotionally "stunted" individual and that's part of the MLC mix because these folks were emotionally stunted.

So, instead of nagging him about what he's not doing, find other ways around them and if he says something just say, I couldn't wait any longer or I had someone come by and repair this or that, etc. PA individuals can change, but it takes a lot of patience and rubber band snapping on the wrist.

BTW, you weren't going crazy living w/a PA man...now you have a better understanding that it wasn't you...but him.