Jeep, Ya, I know she could be lying. But I'm thinking it's best right now for me to believe her and GAL. It feels better to me to not pry and ask questions. I can funtion better in my daily routine and most importantly I can be upbeat and "cool" around her when she's heRe. One thing I've found that's been working for me, actually, is I don't look her in the eye when I'm telling a story or talking about whatever it is im taking about. I do look her in the eye when SHES talking. But when I'm the one saying something I always try and look at my kids or look in another direction, non chalantly though. I find her reaction to be quite interesting. Often times I'll find her checking me out! I try to keep my posture, shoulders back (I've been working out like a fiend, dropping buko poundage), she takes notice. I've found this technique, if you wanna call it that, to somehow exude confidence. It's almost like, with her eyes, she's begging me to acknowledge her. You ever been in a conversation where someone's talking to a group, and you're part of that group, but they never look at you? Makes you feel left out! You desire to be acknowledged. That's the feeling I get from her. It's very subtle though. I don't think it registers in her mind that it's being done to her. There's no tangible effect though. It's not like she's all of a sudden taking my arm and saying "look at me!". It's just a way of showing confidence for ME. Helps me in my attempt to exude that cheery, breezy, confident persona. She got back from her trip obviously and I didn't ask one thing. Over the phone, before she got back, she was about to tell me about her girlfriends and what they did, but I just said hey...I don't need to hear all that, that's your business now. She wanted to share, but I shut her down. I think she misses sharing, but I don't want to here that s**t. I think the more I don't show interest in her "goings on" the less it effects me daily and the more space I give her. Should I have listened? I'll tell you this much. Since she's gotten back she's much more talkative and texting a bunch. I think she feels guilty about not being here for my S. Guess we'll see. By the way, she told my boy about the Hockey tickets when she got back. My S shut her down!! Said he didn't think he was gonna feel up to it, his way of saying no thanks, I'll stay here with my dad. She felt it too. I told her he'll get over it, just give him time. Ha! She couldn't buy her way out!! Anyway, thanks Jeep. I'll keep y'all posted as to how my "plan" works out. I'm sure hoping it does. I don't like going dark, it really [censored], but if I have to I will. AK8
