I can see where Sotto and Ginger are coming from. You have expectations and when he pulls back, you get angry. From where I'm sitting, I see a man who is trying to get to where he needs to be in order to be "whole" again. I see a man who cares very deeply for you and yes, any relationship starts out as friends and when you are friends, it can and will evolve into something more if you allow him the time he needs to heal, face his demons and get his confused mind back into a normal state.
The question I have for you is this...if your xh were still your h and he was in a coma, would you wait patiently for him to wake up on walk away and say that's it, I'm done? Pink, if you want to explore the possibility of getting back together or being really parents who can co-parent, then you are going to have to lower your expectations, do not take what he says to heart and yes, take the bait. You are going to have to dig deeper for patient and know that it takes a very long time for them to work thru their issues. You can't rush the process and you've allowed yourself to be on his rollercoaster far too long...step off the ride and I think that if you detach for now and just listen w/o allowing your anger to get to you, you just might find that things will progress slowly but surely.
Pink, you've got a really good chance of reconciling w/your xh, but you've got to get yourself on stable ground and allow him to heal and to just listen to what he has to say and yes, stop the knee jerk reactions. I know that this is very difficult for you, but you can't control him, his feelings or his thoughts, but you can control how you react to what he says and his behavior...calm down, breathe and just listen. Come here if you want to vent, but you can't rush the process...it just doesn't work that way.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
