I feel like something is missing from your narrative. I read it as one day your ex said he would give you some space for a week and he didn't want you to get "the wrong idea" and you went ape sh!t on him. Did you calmly asked what he meant by space and "get the wrong idea"? Or did you just go off on him like you detailed right when he said those words?
I really don't know if we are missing a piece to this/
I am not there, I am not in your shoes. But from what you write, I don't see a cake-eater. I see a man who loves you who is trying to work through stuff with you who has his own demons to deal with himself, but you want it to happen at your pace and in your way. You can't quite grasp why he just won't recommit to the marriage fully right now.
I have never been in your position, and I certainly can't pass judgement, but you have a serious chance with patience. I would keep my eye on the goal and maybe consider the journey there may a little bumpy and slower than you would like, but out of any of the stories I've seen for the many years on this board, you've got one of the best fighting chances here.
But you need to decide if you can have the patience. Do you in your heart really think he is cake eating and being selfish, or do you think he just needs to take it slow because he has stuff to work out himself?
I've noticed you blow your top when he pulls back a little and you retreat away from him. It's not going to be a linear path, but YOU have to be ok with that.
