#1, think I've been friend zoned. By my own stupid husband! God thats frustrating! Went to bed last night and he talked, told me who he was texting, what they were talking about and his plans for the weekend.
Ugh. Sorry to hear that. Who was he texting?
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He sat at the table and said he was using some of the money to pay the mediator. I said I need to know the time frames you're working with so I can make plans. He said he's not in a rush, but plans to be gone by March. I said, if we are refinancing or selling the house, that is short time frame. At this point he started getting upset and saying if I would just get a new job it wouldn't put such a burden on him. He really believes his financial station in life is all my fault and when I'm gone he'll be swimming in it.
Some of the money to pay the mediator? Mine was only $200. Don't feel alone, mine blames me for financials, too.
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Cut to the end, mind you I had a calm business tone the entire time (small pat on the back) and said I understand that you have a new life and you want to get on with it. (Que the eye roll from H) But you made a commitment here first. I don't have the answers but we'll figure it out.
Then I walked away. I'm hurt, but not as much as I was before. Last week I would have been a sobbing mess. I don't want to lose my H but I think I'm preparing for it better. Financially I am a nervous wreck. I think it's time to call a lawyer which just puts another nail in the coffin for the marriage.
Good for you on keeping things calm! See, you are doing much better! Good on ya! Yes, its time to call the lawyer. I bet your lawyer would find his current financial stuff very interesting. At least mine did.
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None of these things are working. They actually seem to be backfiring. Suggestions please.
You know, mine did the same, too. Everything backfired. Everything. Everyone is different, so what works for some doesn't for others. In my case, the advice given here actually pushed mine further away - but then again it was her mental issues that led her to think that my 180s, GALing, etc., was me saying that I didn't give a damn about her, thus pushing her further away. Not sure if I'd have done the opposite if it would have worked.
You are on a good path. One foot in front of the other and don't look at the ground.
There are moments in this life when you are so confident in the rightness of your actions, that not even for a second do you consider the option that you might be wrong.
