Never good enough

[ForGump]

Sounds awful. I swear just when I think my own situation is awful I see so many others experiencing such pain.

I'm sure others will pitch in some good advice here, but I'd suggest:

a) detach -- he's going to be all over the place; don't mirror it. Be warm, cordial, calm but detached. At the very least, for your own sanity.

b) keep working on being a great woman, someone that your H would be a fool to leave.

c) do some research on the divorce process in your state, to understand how things work. Get recommendations for a lawyer from people you know, and get an initial consultation so you have a basic idea of how your divorce would work. This will make you feel empowered. Just because you're studying this doesn't mean you have to take a hostile legal position. You can still aim for an amicable divorce (if that's what it comes to), while knowing what your rights are.

d) if you can, find a good therapist for yourself. This will help you get through the toughest times when you need support, when you need someone to talk to about various details you can't post here.

e) find ways to have some time for yourself. Either by yourself, or with a good, wise friend or two. You need that space to be able to think and feel.

f) think about what your boundaries are. If he's incurring debt or somehow jeopardizing your family's financial future, is that a boundary for you?

Sorry these are all pretty general. I don't have any clever ideas.