Love is a decision - my story

[Seeker7]

Thanks 2chiquitos, This helps me out.

Read up on detachment. If youre unclear, read the al anon daily meditations. Attend al anon mtgs.

I just reread the detachment on the sight and I believe I am there. I have not attended an al anon meeting yet and will look up the daily meditations.

Your wife had a meltdown. She would have benefited from al anon. Did she ever go?

Defiantly a meltdown. I suggested this to her before she moved out but she said she knew what they were but did not want to go. I am not going to suggest it again at this stage.

Next, OM. Im so glad you chose not to confront her. This is only specific to you. Why cant she date? You guys have been separated for months. In her crazy thinking, shes "moving on."

Yes that is the conclusion I came to too. This is why I talk to my support group on here and in person before I make any quick decisions. I am on a very fine line and do not want to blow it. It is better to under do it then to make right for over killing it.

Definitely dont call her. Continue with that. Thats a 180
Hanging up first, perfect! Because it helps you practice healthy detachment.
Its "neither kind or unkind."

Thanks for the reassurance that I am doing the right thing. That is the plan to just let her call me for the time being. My plan is to just keep back and see how things progress over the next couple of months. I will make a new evaluation when the time comes. The last call she actually asked me some questions about my life which is the first time since she moved out that she did that.

Coming from the disease, a symptom is the thrill you seek. Not being able to balance emotions and situations.

I agree. Balancing the emotions has been very hard in the beginning because when you stop the addiction you get flooded by them and I tend not to look at the situation the way that I should. Now it is becoming easier since I have some time under my belt.

Last one, you seem to have learned alot on relationships. Has all that reading helped your relationship with those around you? Have you practiced what youve learned with your loved ones.

Yes I have learned a lot on relationships and it has helped me in every relationship I have. I am continuing to learn and putting in to practice what I have learned with everyone. It has given me a whole new outlook on life and other people.