#1, think I've been friend zoned. By my own stupid husband! God thats frustrating! Went to bed last night and he talked, told me who he was texting, what they were talking about and his plans for the weekend.
This morning he jumped on me about the mediator and money. He hasn't mentioned D in over a week. Tonight he came home rummaging through the mail. Apparently he opened a new credit card along with those new bank accounts and he's waiting to get it. Not only that but he applied for a large loan and got the money literally within hours. With the bills he's "planning " to pay it had to be at least $20,000.
Now I don't know if he's a WW, MLC or possibly bipolar. Spending large amounts of money is a symptom of bipolar, but he doesn't seem to be in mania anymore. He's very calm in his interactions with me and we haven't been out of the house together since New Years so I have no idea how he's behaving with others.
He sat at the table and said he was using some of the money to pay the mediator. I said I need to know the time frames you're working with so I can make plans. He said he's not in a rush, but plans to be gone by March. I said, if we are refinancing or selling the house, that is short time frame. At this point he started getting upset and saying if I would just get a new job it wouldn't put such a burden on him. He really believes his financial station in life is all my fault and when I'm gone he'll be swimming in it.
Cut to the end, mind you I had a calm business tone the entire time (small pat on the back) and said I understand that you have a new life and you want to get on with it. (Que the eye roll from H) But you made a commitment here first. I don't have the answers but we'll figure it out.
Then I walked away. I'm hurt, but not as much as I was before. Last week I would have been a sobbing mess. I don't want to lose my H but I think I'm preparing for it better. Financially I am a nervous wreck. I think it's time to call a lawyer which just puts another nail in the coffin for the marriage.
That all being said. I'm feeling lost. I know there must be more I can do. Things I'm doing wrong. I just am unsure how to proceed.
I've started GAL. I thought he was upset by this but he told my kids he didn't care.
I've done 180's. I've lost weight. I work out daily. I make sure I'm put together every day vs. hair in a ponytail and no make up
I've distanced myself so far that we rarely talk.
I don't snoop or ask questions. Hence the financial bomb drops.
None of these things are working. They actually seem to be backfiring. Suggestions please.
M:41 H:43 T:26yrs M:19 yrs S:15 D1:14 D2:9 Living together but separated
