Gordie: Pulling it all together

[Gordie]

1. W currently feels that she was repressing her true self in our M. She never said this before BD but I believe that is how she feels now. My W and I are both guilty of conflict avoidance. W says she didn't feel repressed in the past but that she sees now that she was.
2. No, W hasn't thought through the logistics of D and I learned early I can't be her guide. Either she doesn't listen to me or I become the bad guy for bearing bad news. It's much better for her to hear bad news from the L or elsewhere. I think you should back off trying to explain these things to your W.
3. The question is how patient can I be? Can I continue this after separation and divorce? I'm only 5 months post-BD. If it is really x years of M = x months of DB...that means 15 more months...