I wish the only reason I was back because I missed being on this board and receiving all the love and support was very comforting. Unfortunately that's not the only reason I'm back.
SO expressed that he is "unhappy" IOW depressed and doesn't know what else to do about than to move out. At first he tried to say, WE as a couple are unhappy and I quickly said NOooo. I'm happy. It's unfortunate you feel this way, but I am happy. And the truth is I am (or was before he said he wanted to move out). I have worked so hard on maintaining my serenity that I successful had a really nice Fall Season.
My goal was "Keep it Simple." I did it by cutting back on the time I spend on work and enjoying my family. Attending Al Anon mtgs, calling fellow members and journaling/reading literature. I wasn't doing it as often as I am now, but it helped me achieve my goal.
So now my goal is to "Live and Let Live." To stop pushing him and only push myself. And to "Let Go and Let God." I need to allow God to do his work and focus on myself and my kids.
I am happy to report that I am responding his news in a much more balanced approach than 5 years ago. I am not focusing on whether he is being unfaithful or trying to convince him otherwise.
Last night I shared my experience, strength and hope from working the program. That's all I can do. I have never encouraged him to go to program. I offered him a member's number to call and let him know that if he is interested in attending a meeting, to speak with this person about it.
I will admit I am hurting a lot. I will also admit I was not surprised by his news. I saw the signs of his disconnect 6 months ago and was just waiting for God to allow him to reveal his depression to me.
I am asking for everyone's love, guidance and support as I start this journey again. This journey towards separation.
