Every single thing she has done, is WW textbook. And now, she's gaslighting you. Every time you listen to what she says, you are going to experience pretty much the same thing again. She is in an affair (maybe hasn't gone physical yet) and she is addicted to OM, so she is not going to end contacting him as long as she can pull the wool over your eyes.
Look, your M can be saved....but you have got to follow advice, and STOP telling your W what your counselor has to say. You need to set effective boundaries to protect yourself from her behavior.
Are you positive she is with her dad every single time.....or are you just taking her word? Her "word" has little valuable, at the present time. Do you actually drive by or stop and go in to see if she is there?
Did you tell her you were monitoring her phone activity? If you did not tell her, then don't. Just b/c you feel that telling her every thing about yourself will cause her to be honest with you......does not work with a wayward wife. Do you get it?
If you really want to know, read my threads about the WW. You will see your wife in the posts. In order to save your M, you have to use a different approach with her. Just b/c she tells you the OM texting stops today......does not mean her wayward mindset stop today. And, deciding to just trust her, is the last thing you should do right now. Don't allow her to blame you for her behavior. You can do that by not accepting responsibility for what she does out her own free will. She will twist & turn things around until you are second guessing yourself.
A WW can turn back around and become the woman you loved & married. It takes tough love, and it takes time. I hope you will not be a guy who says he simply cannot be strong enough, and gives up, lies down, and chooses to ignore the disrespect from his WW.
There is so much more involved than just her admitting she's cheating and lying. She has to be willing to work on a plan to save the M.
Step one in that plan is to successfully end all forms of contact with the OM. In order for her to succeed, she will need to be transparent until she has earned your trust again. The transparency plan is to help in securing your emotional feelings and to help build trust in the MR (which takes time). Following the plan will help her as she is going through withdrawals and fighting the urge to contact OM. She needs to understand that it can't be fixed by just acting as if there was never an affair/OM. She has to earn her way back, by proving she can be trusted over a lengthy period of time. She needs to know that her desire for you will not return until she has killed all contact with OM and has successfully gone through withdrawals (which also covers keeping the affair alive in her daydreams.) I could add a lot more right here, but will leave it for the time being.
Until her waywardness ends, there is no hope for a truly happy MR. Until step one is accomplished, you will see no change for the better in her. Every day in the M that she can have OM on the side......is another day that her respect for you goes down the drain, and harder to get back.
I hope you will post daily, b/c you will need the support while you stay on top of these issues.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
