Sadly, I'm afraid that this is what our D is going to do to our children. Everyone, including me and the children, thought W and I were happy together. I'm reading a book on D and children now that points out this risk...that when there is no apparent conflict, the kids can't understand it at all...
Gordie, I'm with you. My kids had NO CLUE it was coming. None. And my ex kept saying that they would be great and not have any problems. She is still living in her own little dream world and either dumb enough to not see or doesn't want to see. Either way, its damaging to the kids. Damage that I am trying to hard to ease.
Watch your wife carefully. Mine had this grand idea of using the time while she is living in the other state to sort of prep the kids, get them used to the idea of Dad and mom apart. However, that didn't work. And they hurt because of it. They are also starting to see things and I suspect that questions - real, truth seeking ones - will start soon. I told the ex from day one that I would answer honestly. And I will.
This whole thing is backfiring on her. Just a little proof - today there was in incident and my little girl told the school to call me so I could help her out. Didn't call the ex. What does that tell you?
There are moments in this life when you are so confident in the rightness of your actions, that not even for a second do you consider the option that you might be wrong.
