I am off track here, but I am just curious, did you wife feel like complaining was forbidden to her as well?
I am not a complainer per say, but sure I do it every now and then to vent off some steam. I think everyone does.
Do you think your wife might have not communicated problems and vice versa because it might have misinterpreted as "complaining"?
I am pretty sure I held everything back because I didn't want to be a "complainer" In turn not expressing myself left me resentful and many issues unresolved.
Just something to ponder.
I don't feel like I ever held anything back. If something seemed wrong I would point it out and move for a change. I just didn't let it take the form of complaining.
I never forbid my wife from complaining but she does not do it much. I think she does hold back telling me her issues for whatever reason. She does not think I understand her, and perhaps I don't. But, I'm very willing to try. I gave up on R talk because she hates it and will not have that talk with me but I'm still very willing to listen. Anything she is willing to say I have been validating.
I'm also well aware that I'm not perfect and I am always trying to improve myself. I just don't know what my wife wants and I am pretty happy with myself in general. So my self improvement at the moment takes the form of guarding against doing anything co-dependant and improving the good skills that I already have.
I'm a pretty self reflective person and I think about how I could better handle my situation all the time. probably almost too much. It's hard to stop sometimes. So I am trying to lighten up and just live my life as well.
