I found out she was having an EA (at least). I've had 2 sessions with a DB counselor. I told him that when I found out about it she wanted to work things out, she broke ties with the OM. My coach said that was a good sign, that they will either be glad it's out in the light and they can move on to their other or (more rarely) they are remorseful like she was.
She begged me to come home that night (11/28/2016) and finally I did and she seemed so close, she was being so sweet for a few days. But then I went back into my mode, I had thought ok, this can finally work out but it didn't because my mode sent her right back into hers of being unsure again and we're right back where we were but now it's worse because I'm jealous and suspicious and know she actually did have an a or is still having one, she swears she's not.
We haven't had sex in 1.5 years now (I feel like she's being faithful to him) and I told the coach I want the morning after sex more than the sex, so I can give her all the love I've been holding back on. Bring her breakfast in bed and flowers and do for the things I didn't do for 17 years. He encouraged me to do those things now, don't wait for the sex. This kinda goes against what I've learned here but maybe it's because I'm piecing, I don't know. I'm so confused about this. But I know things are going very badly.
We see a new counselor together Thursday. This will be #4 now in 2 years. I'm so tired. I have one more session with the coach.
