It sounds like your W is a bit lost. Or a lot lost. If she's spending her time exercising and shopping ... that still leaves a lot of time to fritter away. I'm not saying I have some answer. I just think that her not having some direction in life, a sense of control, a sense of power and confidence ... I think it greatly adds to her dissatisfaction with your marriage.
LT,
I agree with ForGump on this one. I may be projecting, but I think a lot of the SAHMs get into this slump/depression/MLC. You say your W's life revolves around your D. Your D is 9, so is becoming more independent of your W and once she hits puberty, she may want nothing to do with your W. So, if that has started to happen, or your W anticipates that happening, she needs to find herself a new identity. You are working for much of the day and she's decided she's not happy with you/your M. Does she know what she wants out of the next 5, 10, 20, 50 years of her life?
I do think it is a positive sign that your W wants you guys to talk to each other more. If it's uncomfortable or awkward right now, maybe you can develop a structure for how you talk to one another.
For example, we are going to talk to each other one-on-one without distractions (D, TV, phone) for 15 minutes a day at 9pm time. H will talk for 5 minutes without interruption and W will listen. Then H will ask W questions for 2 minutes. W will then take her turn. At the end, take one minute to recap the discussion. If you want, you can add a hug/kiss at the beginning and end. Each day, alternate who goes first.
I know this sounds overly structured, but it sometimes helps when communication has broken down.
Gordie 40s W 40s M20+ kids 2016 BD W fantasy affair w OM1 I do everything wrong 2017 I start to DB W says TLTL files for D PA w OM2 2018 I do LRT W drops filing and OM2 situation slowly improving
