i told her to do seperation rather than divorce just in case she feels different down the road.maybe i should not have.but from this point on im going to be working on myself and focus on my own future.
There is nothing wrong with telling her that. Now that you've planted that seed, don't mention it again. Whether it roots or not is up to her. Working on yourself and focusing on your future is all you can - and should be - doing right now. This is your time to become the absolute best you can. Focus on you. Focus on things you want to change within yourself to become the best. That it what's important.
It's also important to remember that changing things within yourself is only to be done for you and you only - not for the hopes of winning her back. Making changes to win someone back is doomed from the start and will only lead to much resentment...within you and also directed toward her.
Good luck, my friend.
There are moments in this life when you are so confident in the rightness of your actions, that not even for a second do you consider the option that you might be wrong.
