Gordie: Pulling it all together

[Gordie]

ForGump,

This is something I struggle with. I anticipate feeling terrible but the truth is I don't know. Heck, W already told me she is in love with another man and it hasn't killed me yet but I know that is partly due to the fact that I don't believe they are truly in love with one another but that is merely a fantasy or delusion or infatuation. How will I feel if they are out in the open in love with one another in an actual R? It hurts to think about but let's project: I'll feel it's wrong and abandoned and betrayed and replaced and angry and sad and... Will it kill my love for her? I don't know. My problem is that I feel we will still be married even if we are technically divorced, even if she is in a R with someone else. This is stubborn and out of touch with reality, but it's how I feel now. I actually discussed this with my counselor and he said it's really hard to project how you are going to feel in the future under different circumstances. I read one other thread where the H and W continued sleeping with one another even after the WH married her AP. Does that make the XW the mistress/OW?