Vap I agree and disagree. I agree I bottle things up and I agree I need to get angry. I am pretty angry at the moment. I disagree on detachment. I am about has detached as you can get. I don’t care if I hear from her, don’t care if I see her, don’t care what she is doing and I haven’t for a while. I guess my only attachment is to that dream that we could be happy together but I don’t think I can make her happy for the long term, not sure if anyone can..
I also disagree a bit on the closure issue. Maybe I shouldn’t have used the word divorce. But it is decision time. Wife’s fog is gone. I need to decide whether to work on things with her or not. There is not an opportunity to sit back, work on myself and show her the best me I can be. That’s done. If I decide not to, that is closure, it’s over for good, believe me on that. The paper doesn’t matter one bit you are right but the decision does. I don’t think it will solve her problems, she is going to be a mess either way. Actually, it will make things worse for her I think. For me, I am not looking at this to solve any problems. For newbies who come around start throwing around the D word after 3 months, I agree it won’t do any good. But for long timers, I think there has to be a time when you make a logical choice about your future and know when enough is enough.
Thanks OTW. Wise words indeed. I think I will contact her for a few days and then have heart to heart this weekend. But she is a lying, little sneak how can I trust what she says? I hear what you are saying but my brain is telling me to let it go, its time. It’s been 20 years of this BS and I am only 35! She is going to get us both killed. Maybe I should change the phrasing of what I want. What I want is to be with someone who adores me, never wants to let me go and wants a family with me. My preference is for that to be with WW but the description of what I want supersedes that. Know what I mean?
I don’t really want to leave things in her court as I feel I need to make the decision. She seems willing to do whatever at the moment to officially get back together. But I am just not there. Funny, I guess this is a case of the LBS turning into the WAS that I read about from time to time. Never thought that would be me.
