Its been some time since I have posted ... or updated as its been a very quiet year but just like Jaws with 3 barrels it was only time till she surfaced so there is finally something to share.
So just to set this up: I work my gig on Thursday night till 2:00 a.m. then get into the office at 7:30 and get back home Friday and typically take a nap from 5-8 before I do the gig again Friday night. The money is good and its something I do enjoy though it is taxing at times.
Just as I am drifting off to sleep, my phone rings and its the MLC'r. First impulse was to let it go to voicemail then I realized with the rain, the time was about when she was picking up S9 maybe there was an accident with him, or prior and she could not get him so I reluctantly answered.
Her: "Cali?" Me: "Yes" (Who else would it be ....lol) Her: "Its me" (I knew that ...caller ID and all) Her: "Something happened" Me: "Is (S9) ok?" Her: "Oh yes yes he is fine I am parked outside the school can you talk?" Me: "Yes what is it?" Her "Something happened do you have a minute?" Me: (Thinking ... ugh what is it .. she is pregnant) "Yes what is going on?"
Thing is I have not spoken to her about anything other than logistics for S9 in just about a year and those have all been text or email. I only see her physically maybe once a month during the every other Saturday exchange and half of those she is not in sight of the front door to her condo. The only exception of this was back in June when I suspect there was an OM break up (one of a dozen or so over this long crisis) and she spun for about 24 hours then the next day started up D talks once she realized I was not budging.
So short of the long of it. She shared that BIL was talking about committing suicide. I have 3 BIL's and assumed but then asked for confirmation that it was in fact BIL2 we were talking about. I was fighting the urge to graciously end this call as this is no longer my place, but I recall some thoughts/approaches I have discovered here and elsewhere that I treat her as a neighbor so I simply listened.
To my surprise she said it was BIL3, out of the entire family this guy has his act together (on the surface) more than the entire lot of the 5 of them. I was actually shocked as out of them all I always related/got along with him the best. She shared that with all the legal fees BIL2 had with his legal case which started 2011 (Also the trigger for her MLC) BIL3 had now found himself over $100,000 in debt and from what I could get out of her in between the hysterics, crying and sobbing he somehow involved his jobs financials in this and there could be some serious implications.
She said she did not know who else to talk to, did not want to call/tell me. I was calm and unphased really ... the dysfunction in this family that I once regarded and thought they were lock tight and amazing has eroded to a point I almost pity the lot of them. In 5-10 years this vessel has run aground ant they all have completely flipped and spun into self destruction. BIL1 is a mess but now looks to be managing the best. SIL1 is in and out of the mental hospital as is her husband while church friends watch the 2 kids as they sort out their issues (this is 6 years running) BIL2 is in prison for 20+ years (Over the same act that is the root of MLC'rs root issue, his incarceration triggered her memory and its been downhill since) BIL3 now in finacial ruin and possible legal issues has a hard road ... and my MLCr is the baby of the bunch and she is ... well in crisis.
I remained neighborly and asked if he has told his wife. MLCr said no, only she knows ... now myself. She did not know who to call/talk to about this (What ... no OM ... but I know she only shares the bright side with him if at all and he probably does not even know about BIL2 in prison .. mindreading but I do not think they share these dark secrets with the OP). I told her BIL3 needs to come clean and tell his wife as the burden he carries will only break him, he must share the load with his wife and they have to get through this together as a team ... till death do us part, for better or worse, for richer and poorer and this chapter is the poor/worse side of things ... .as I said this I almost smirked with the irony as I explained how holding secrets and telling half truths is the fastest wat to destroy trust and a marriage.
She was to consumed with emotions to apply this to our failed M which I was thankful for as it was not intended to be a shot in any way. She asked if she should call his wife and tell her, I quickly told her he confided in her and that would betray his trust in his sister, its his secret to tell not hers. She felt the urge to call him back and plead for him to talk to her, to get help as we discussed and quickly got off the phone.
An hour or so later I receive a TM "I should not have told you" to which I did not reply.
So this is about the only thing that has happened in my sitch in some time. The root dysfunction of this family has not left any of the 5 unscathed. As far as her reaching out ... I shared this with my fellas (All have been through this MLC crisis and are in various stages) and came aways with how I felt about this. I do not think it was an anchor check as much as I think she has simply ran out of people she could share this type of news with. Hard to be that person who is so happy and living it up and share the dark demons your family has spent so much effort to hide from the outer circles.
It did not make me spin nor really side track me, but I was kind of surprised she called at all looking for support from me over OM who I can honestly say I am not sure where/what that relation ship is currently. Again, not my circus nor monkey but just continuing to track this process for the sake of documentation, at this point I have no idea if we will ever divorce, (Have not heard anything since being served back in September) reconcile, (one failed attempt at that already) or option #3 (whatever that may be). Personally I like a few others have labeled it in the 5% chance category as I am not completely closed the door to it but I would need to see darn near a miracle and honestly take inventory of my life which I am currently content with at the moment, my side of the street is clean, peaceful and I do not allow Drama-Llamas to poo on my grass.
So thats about it ... we will see where things go from here, she texted me yesterday about S9's B-day party which was a quick cordial exchange and its now back to all quiet which I am thankful for.
Hope you all are well.
Last edited by job; 01/23/1712:04 PM. Reason: Added spacing between paragraphs
