Thanks Pax and OTW for checking in… my rocks. OTW, I have never thought “I was too good for her” though I am beginning to think that I deserve better. So in some respects I am waking up there. She can get the best and I don’t understand why she goes for these loser types. It is crazy to me. Pax, I read No More Mr. Nice guy and I definitely have some nice guy tendencies but don’t fit what was portrayed in the book exactly. But WW did tend to walk over me, you are right. I have adjusted that since we have been connecting for the past few months. I just don’t know what to do here. The revelation about the guy from 4-5 years ago is telling. What a little sneak! We had discussed what occurred during that time several times because it was weird and something just didn’t sit right with me. She just lied, lied, lied right to my face every time. I am actually thankful POS felon told me about what really happened. So in those 6 years we were together am I to believe that these are the only two instances of inappropriate contact? Logical brain has taken over and it says no way. I was a fool. All my friends and family are right. I do wish it could work though. She continues to blame our ‘chemistry’ issues as the reason this happens but says that she now wants to work on all that. How can I work through this? Since we have no kids and a pretty short marriage, isn’t it best to call it quits? Logical brain says yes, but emotional brain doesn’t want to. Emotional brain wants her. Ugh. After I told her we she end things yesterday, she sent some more texts and called. More apologies, saying she has learned a lot, wants to be with me, is OK with transparency bla bla bla. I said can you just let things cool down for a few days. I said you kept suggesting consoling but never followed through, she said I didn’t seem into it. Maybe we should do a few sessions? Sorry for the stream of consciousness rambles. You guys understand. Am I doing the right thing? The only possible solution is for this to end in divorce, right? I mean I don’t see it any other way. Everything is destroyed and now that I see how easy it is for her to lie right to my face for years on end. Ugh.. makes me sad. I just wanted to be with her and have a family. Amazing as it is, I hate to see her hurting even though she has hurt me countless times over the past 20ish years. Actually, it was funny. On the phone when she was crying hard and I was not, she said how are you OK? I said I have cried enough tears over you already to last a lifetime, I am all out.
