ugh.. what a whirl wind 24 hrs. I don't think I have posted this much in 6 months.
I thought about the incident from about 5 years ago all day and WW's dishonesty. My logical brain is taking over and don't see how we could possibly make it 35-40 years without this happening again. I just cannot make her happy enough to keep her interested in 'us'.. plain and simple. She might want to be with me now, but she will continue to get attention from men as she is very out going and quite attractive. Even though she is open for transparency, I just don't see it.
So she calls and we are talking. She basically says that well if that is how I feel maybe we should move things along. She was looking for a reassurance from me. Instead, I said maybe that is best. And she started whaling. Lots and lots of tears, saying she does want to be with me etc etc. I had tears too but kept it all under control so she wouldn't know. Once that phone hung up though, it all came out. I was bawling my eyes out. I don't think I have cried like that during this entire ordeal.
I feel so sad. All I wanted since I was 15 was to be with her and have a family together. I had the makings of that and lost it. I feel like a complete failure .
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