Onwards

[job]

Mia,

I agree w/Sotto in the fact that your anger is yours to own and how you deal w/it is something that you need to work on in a healthy manner. That is why I am suggesting that you need to be in a support group in real life to work on this anger, resentment and bitterness.

You and your h will need to learn how to communicate better and how to co-parent in a much better manner than you are now. If you don't want to schedule appointments for him, then make sure he has the numbers of the contacts. Also, it helps w/many who have to deal w/wayward spouses to have a calendar of all events that are taking place for the children. Yes, I hear you...you don't think you need to do this for him...however, it would be a good move on your part to make a calendar up of events, activities, etc. that shows what the children are involved in, it can be hard copy or electronic. This will help alleviate him asking you about such appointments, etc. Mia, in order to change your situation and take some of the aggravation out of your life, you will need to change how you are dealing w/it.

I do think, from your postings, that no matter what he does or doesn't do, will not make you happy. You tend to complain about everything he says or does and this comes across as being angry, resentful and bitter. Why would your h even consider returning home if you are displaying these emotions to him a majority of the time. You are actually helping the ow to look wonderful in his eyes because she's not acting like that. Do you or do you not want to try to save your marriage? If so, then this is an area that needs to be addressed w/a support group or therapist.

Just my two cents...sometimes we have to bite the bullet and go the extra mile to get our point across about things and one way to cut down on scheduling issues is a calendar w/dates, times and contact info for both parties.