Onwards

[Sotto]

Hi Mia, thanks for clarifying. I agree that the thing to do here is dig deep and work on being the best Mum (and coparent) that you can, given all circumstances. You didn't choose where you are - but you do get to choose how you handle yourself going forwards - and how you interact with your spouse.

Ultimately, it is good to work through the pain and get to a place where you can coparent reasonably constructively. Whilst you haven't blocked him from coming, your tone with him does sound peevish, angry and unhelpful. As others have said - I would venture to guess that this comes from unresolved anger about the situation.

And here's the rub - your anger is yours to own - and process (ideally in a healthy way) and move beyond. I agree with others that I haven't seen much forward movement by you in your situation - and I do see some 'stuckness.' We can go through this or we can grow through it. That choice is ours and has nothing to do with how our spouses have behaved, who they are with and what they are doing or saying..it is on us alone.

I agree with Job and hope you will get any support you may need to get to a healthy place where you can let go him and his situation and live your own life peacefully and happily.

You see, you think we are misunderstanding you, but your current state of mind is evident from what you post and the things that you say.

There is a happy life beyond this current situation and I hope you'll go in search of that Mia.

Xx