Sara, I agree that spouses need to be protective of their health.
The quote that Gordie posted doesn't talk about a spouse that is having sex with someone else. It only mentions a spouse who is estranged or confused.
When I have posted positively about ML with a spouse, it has not been in situations where the spouse is suspected of having a PA.
Me: 44 H: 44 Kids: 20, 16, 16, and 10 Together/Married: 22 years H announced he was emotionally detached and considering D: 4/4/16 H announced he is going to try to stay and reconnect: 5/1/16