Gordie: Pulling it all together

[PsySara]

Gordie,
I have very mixed feelings about ML when a spouse in another relationship, after all that's how I contracted an STD. MWD is putting out a new book specifically to deal with infidelity at the end of this month so I wonder if she will alter that particular POV?

I've been reading a lot of old threads and there was a veteran named Gucci Loafer and he had interesting POV when it came to drawing a wife back in, one that dovetailed with MWD's POV. He said that the number one way to get a girl back was to show that you were dsirable to other women. While he didn't suggest dating while still married he did encourage men to go out and flirt a little, just to build their own confidence back. While I am not a man there does seem to be a double effect when men flirt, they become more confident (and thus attractive) as well as the WAW realizes her LBS is not pining and waiting for her to come back. She will realize the window is closing and suddenly that guy she felt nothing for seems like he's about to become "the one that got away."

Some of the approaches appear a bit different from a female perspective but I did notice when the pursuing stopped from me my WH turned back towards me. I started living my life more independently, I started going to the gym and running. This helped my mood immensely but also was a 180 for ME. I did it for ME and not to draw WH back. I also started calling friends and chatting on the phone, not being home when WH came home from work, going on trips and being a bit mysterious about my whereabouts. I still am keeping some space between us even though WH asked last week to start piecing. Believe NOTHING they say and only half of what they do. I can't look to his words to determine my course.