I suggest that you follow LRT. Sandi has provided very candid feedback and thoughts You have acknowledged them Your reply is screaming 2 things You are not choosing to detach... Your every action is with an intent and goal around getting a reaction from your W.
You hold very much to the extreme definition of wayward for your w. I still perceive she is much more WAW... She is not under your roof She is not requesting things that indicate a desire to work on things with you. Her actions as you share would seem more that she sense a loss of her family...not so much the loss of her MR.
My simple opinion is...back up and observe. Let her go through the process...nothing you do is going to get her to feel loss or suddenly make any changes...time is your gift. Detachment is your daily choice.
If many of us perceive your controlling actions and reactions, I can only imagine what she perceives...she knows you and sees all that you do, say, and think.
You are super goal oriented and push with vigor that a successful and driven person does... Perhaps your lesson in all of this is... You can not control everything...you can not control anything except your self... Letting things be as they will be and controlling your response and acceptance will be where you grow...and will show you a path that can and will lead to better things.
Me 46 Former W 46 D19 D7 BD Feb 2016 WAW moves out 4/16/16 D final 6/1/2017
It's time for me to start changin' the way I look at the world......and at myself. ~James Howlett aka Wolverine
