SBJ, I like the lighthouse story a lot. It's hard to reconcile that perspective and going dark. They don't seem to be partners. I really think she would eventually respond to the lighthouse way of being, technique. But right now I'm going to concentrate on detaching emotionally. Small steps. I think once I can eliminate the need to "know" everything about her and concentrate more on myself and my kids I can eventually then get to be the lighthouse. My W is so much not herself right now. Acting almost. Like nothing matters to her. I can see this is just a symptom of the MLC. She's just completely changed her personality. She's like a teenager. It's actually quite incredible when I sit and thinks about her behavior and how different she is. It's just crazy. I think if I do the DBng she'll eventually see her family and our home as the best safe place for her heart. Thanks man AK8
