A divorced co-worker and I were talking a bit today when he asked how do you stop the memories? How do you stop thinking about things that bring you pain?
Honestly, I had no answer. I'm in the best place I've been in a long time, and I can't stop the memories. Fortunately, they aren't near as many as they used to be, but they do still pop in every now and then.
For instance, last night I was looking for a book for my son when I came across some old pictures of us (the ex and I) at our (now my) favorite vacation place. I love that place - we used to go every year on Veteran's Day. I didn't go last year, and not sure when I will be able to again. I'm not even sure how it would affect when I do go back, if I even do. I miss that place.
The old pictures flooded the memories. And, yes, some of the old feelings reared up. I suspect that isn't unusual. Probably for the rest of my life. Memories of times when the world was right.
Was I sad? To some extent. I tried not to linger. I tried not to think, yet I did. I'm not sad now. I was a little then, but it was a fleeting moment. I am going to be honest with myself, and say yes, there are parts I miss. The good times and all. But, as another poster said, we can't look back. Only forward. Maybe one day I will take the kids back. They love it.
Memories aren't a bad thing. As long as one doesn't dwell on the what-ifs. But that's the rub - how do you stop that? I couldn't answer for him. I just told him time would ease it. And it will. In time.
There are moments in this life when you are so confident in the rightness of your actions, that not even for a second do you consider the option that you might be wrong.
