Keep Wearing Wedding Band? [Thread #7]

[Gordie]

***My W has never articulated to me why her attraction to me is gone. I think some of that is that she truly doesn't know it in a rational way -- that's just not how she thinks. And some of it is that it is extremely difficult for her to talk about it. So a mix of the two.***

It's really hard when our W's won't talk to us about the issues...but so, so common...and leaves it in our court to do as MWD says, experiment and monitor results...approach with actions, not words...are you still willing to experiment at this stage? Seeing that your W won't talk to you...can you radically change (180s) any of the following non-sexual things and see if it makes a difference?

*Mr. Nice Guy--how would you act/dress/interact if you were the bad boy? Take some chances.

*Parental figure--what would it look like if you were the complete opposite? Romeo?

*She feels unwanted/addicted to emotional highs--what would help? time/attention? words of affirmation? acts of service? gifts? a weekend away? a romantic dinner for two? something totally unexpected and out of character? Mysterious?

*Appearance/hygiene--do you try to look/smell your best every time you are going to see your W? Women are much better than men about this, in general.

*Does your W like non-sexual touching/is she still open to it? Holding hands? Hugging? Massages? Cuddles? Sitting close to one another?

Side note: you know what makes me mad? This: "And on the flipside that amplifies the high she gets from wanting someone else, someone new." When I compliment my W she ignores me; when another guy compliments her, she melts into an emotional puddle.