It SHOULD be shared, yes. But in her head, I think sharing she believed sharing would have done more damage than good.
I feel this, too. I believe that if she did share it would have made me run the other way. I don't think it would have. I will be honest and say, she is an awesome person and has a good heart and will bend over backwards. However, her demons are too strong.
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When someone has a life like that, they hope to start over and leave the past WAY behind them. Sadly, they aren't even aware of the damage that will cause themselves and anyone else they love.
I agree. And I think that's one of the reasons she married me. My IC (who was also our MC) put it like this: She had nothing but bad guys (abusers, etc) and I come along and am one of the good guys. However, it was great at first but as time passed, she didn't know what to do with it and "missed" the drama. And her demons took hold. And, she associated my misgivings with abuse on some insane level.
I pray for healing also, but I don't think it will happen. She has on more than one occasion in MC stated that counselors have stopped seeing her because they can't go any further. The gap is too wide, I'm afraid.
There are moments in this life when you are so confident in the rightness of your actions, that not even for a second do you consider the option that you might be wrong.
