I went semi-dark for a few weeks and wife became friendlier. She seemed to notice after about 24 hours. After a few weeks she started an R talk. I was careful to just listen and validate but the end of the conversation was that she will still not wear our ring and she, "just doesn't want to be married to me" I pointed out that we are married and living this way was not a good thing but I let it go. During this two weeks she sent her most suggestive emails to date to celeb friend. She pretty much flat out asked him if they could be closer and said that she wanted a full relationship with him. In the next one she said she wished she was in LA because she would be with her king. So I can't deny to myself what is going on there any longer. He did not answer either email but she sent him a third email with normal friend conversation and he answered that with a few friendly words. So, I hope that might put a crack in her fantasy.
After this, on the advice of my DB coach I went as dark as possible. still not 100% dark but as close as I could get given our present situation. She noticed so fast. I think she started changing her behavior within a few hours. Checking on me, kinda following me in the house. saying I was acting weird. S11 was nearby when she said that and he said, "Dads not acting weird.", bless him. that night in bed I was trying to fall asleep and she started giving me a weird kind of back rub. It was somewhat pinchy and I asked her nicely to stop. after laying quietly for a while and almost sleeping she says, "I don't care what S11 says you are acting weird." she started rubbing on me and it was nice and I let her for a long time. she eventually made it really clear that she wanted sex and I hope it wasn't a mistake but 10 months of no sex makes for some powerful urges. We had pretty good sex, the only decent time for the entire 10 months (the other few times were not good) she cried a little after and told me that it was nice. The next morning I continued the darkness and just went to work without saying goodby. she is calling my phone now and I did not answer. I have solo plans for one day this weekend as well. This is very weird for me, we rarely do anything solo. I hope the sex wasn't a mistake and I hope going out on my own is not a mistake. I know going out on my own is normal for going dark but it is so out of character for me that it feels weird and I wonder if she will think I am playing some kind of game. To be fair, I feel a little bit gamey, I would rather be home. I guess I need to let her feel this loss.
So, I'm feeling pretty good despite all that is going on. The best I have felt all year. Thanks again for any advice that is provided.
