I'm sorry that your wife is spewing all of that onto you. Isn't it crazy how everything becomes about them, and they seem to forget that we are dealing with a failing M and that sometimes we are only holding on by a string.
I haven't spoken to my husband recently, but the last time I did the conversation was all about him and how he is so busy at work and how he has started to socialize. I asked him if he could help with the dog and he said he could but he made sure to let me know that he had plans and was really busy and would do his best to help out. But what I have come to learn is that he is actually not enjoying life as much as he says he is and is at home at night alone and is struggling financially. I guess that statement "believe none of what he/she says and 50% of what he/she does" is true.
I wish you well as you continue on this journey. I hope that she lets up on the spewing .