Finanally recieved divorce papers today. Not sure why, but I feel ok. It may hit me hard later tonight. I have all my financials ready and in order for the attorney to review and file a counter claim if she doesn't agree. She has no legal grounds and I can wait up to 18 months if I choose to.
I did get another text last night over a 20.00 charge from sept that she just recieved the bill for. It's almost laughable at this point. She's trying to take 1000s from me but is going to get mad over a 20 charge??? I just ignored it.
Completely change of events started last weekend . Wife started texting Saturday afternoon. At first I ignored it as it was about the cruise we have booked then she started asking if I'm seeing someone, if I still loved her, want do I want, etc. I kept my responses short and did not directly answer her. Just said I'm content with HER decision and I'm not going to prevent it. She started calling at that point and she was crying when I answered. She begged to come over which I said was not a good idea since she is divorcing me and that I had plans. I received 4 missed calls that night. She has continued to ask the same questions up to today. She thinks I have been with another woman!!! That part made me mad as she knows me better than that.
My counselor advices not to see her at this point as it will give her control again. I'm worried that she is just feeling sad and doesn't really want to really come back but use me to make herself feel better. After some thought, I came to a decision that I'm not sure what I want. I finally text her saying that, and I would be willing to meet under the following conditions. First we agree to see a counselor. Second, she must revoke the divorce papers. I feel like that is fair and would prove that she is serious and not $&@@ing with my head again. So far her response is she wants to see me and talk first.
I'm at a loss of what to do at this point?? My counselor and friends are telling me to hold my ground and she will do what I'm asking if she's serious.
I really need some advice as I did not see this coming at this point. I have prepared for the divorce and I am supposed to meet with my attorney this week
I'm at a loss of what to do at this point?? My counselor and friends are telling me to hold my ground and she will do what I'm asking if she's serious.
I really need some advice as I did not see this coming at this point. I have prepared for the divorce and I am supposed to meet with my attorney this week
Hello bsb,
I'm so sorry for the situation you are in.
It is easy to be conflicted when you have so many emotions and thoughts going through your head! You have been focusing on yourself and it seems to have gotten her attention. She could be temperature checking you. Seeing her and talking with her might not be a bad idea. It will give you a chance to be the confident and strong (not ice cold) person that she is a fool to leave.
Knowing what to do and what not to do at this point is crucial. Feel free to give me a call at 303-444-7004 to discuss how we can best help you determine what to do next.
Cristy
Resource Coordinator The Divorce Busting Center 303-444-7004
A Divorce Busting Coach can help you save your marriage, even when your spouse wants out.
Email virginia@divorcebusting.com or 303-444-7004 for more information or to get started right away.
Completely change of events started last weekend . Wife started texting Saturday afternoon. At first I ignored it as it was about the cruise we have booked then she started asking if I'm seeing someone, if I still loved her, want do I want, etc. I kept my responses short and did not directly answer her. Just said I'm content with HER decision and I'm not going to prevent it. She started calling at that point and she was crying when I answered. She begged to come over which I said was not a good idea since she is divorcing me and that I had plans. I received 4 missed calls that night. She has continued to ask the same questions up to today. She thinks I have been with another woman!!! That part made me mad as she knows me better than that.
My counselor advices not to see her at this point as it will give her control again. I'm worried that she is just feeling sad and doesn't really want to really come back but use me to make herself feel better. After some thought, I came to a decision that I'm not sure what I want. I finally text her saying that, and I would be willing to meet under the following conditions. First we agree to see a counselor. Second, she must revoke the divorce papers. I feel like that is fair and would prove that she is serious and not $&@@ing with my head again. So far her response is she wants to see me and talk first.
I'm at a loss of what to do at this point?? My counselor and friends are telling me to hold my ground and she will do what I'm asking if she's serious.
I really need some advice as I did not see this coming at this point. I have prepared for the divorce and I am supposed to meet with my attorney this week
Controlling behavior. Talk no actions.
I wish you hadn't even said what you did. If she has something to say to you, then she can say it.
Did she tell you she was calling off the D? Did she tell you she made a mistake? Did she apologize for her behavior? Did she ask for counseling?
NO!
All she did was ask you some questions about your life and you filled in the blanks with what YOU wanted to hear.
Look, I went through the EXACT same thing. Read my thread from 8/28/14-9/6/14. My XW asked the same questions. I found out the hard way what it meant:
I read your thread. Man that was tough situation on you!! Glad you made it through it to the other side!
I haven't had anymore contact since Monday night. She seems to be upset that I'm doing ok.... if she wants to really work on things she will agree to what I'm asking.
Just checking in and catching up. Crazy change from your W, but yeah, all talk at this point. Good on you for holding your ground, but I can imagine that if I were in your position that could really churn up some mixed feelings on your part. Just try to keep a level head and re-read what Zues said if you feel like caving. I find it interesting that you said you're not really sure what you want now. Keep us updated and stay strong!
Me: 35 W: 32 MR: 2y T: 3.5y SS11 BD: 11/3/16 EA: 10/26/16 PA: 11/11/16 W asks for S/D & ILYBINILWY 11/13/16 Status: I moved out 11/19/16, GAL I filed for D: 12/14/16 D-day: 3/10/17
I'm still holding my ground but it's been one of the hardest things to do. I don't want the roller coaster ride anymore. It has brought up a lot of feelings that I buried inside. The only way I can do this is if I know she is serious and would give 100% and right now she's still not doing that. Again, I think she is just sad and worried I'm moving on. Time will tell and she hasn't called/text in a few days.
Yes, I'm not sure what I really want. I do still love her but so much damage has been done.....
Yes, I'm not sure what I really want. I do still love her but so much damage has been done.....
Right there with you. I do still love my ex and part of me always will. But the damage has been done and I'm not so sure its irreversible.
Keep your head up, my friend. The roller coaster will come to a stop soon enough. It's up to you whether you ride it again.
There are moments in this life when you are so confident in the rightness of your actions, that not even for a second do you consider the option that you might be wrong.
It's been a week now since she contacted me about meeting. I've held my ground even though I'm not sure I'm doing the right thing. She's now trying to turn this around on me. Telling her family that she wanted to meet and talk about trying to fix things but I won't agree to it. I'm meeting with my counselor this afternoon so maybe she will have some advice. Part of me wants to meet her but I NEED to know she is serious for the right reasons and not just sad/lonely. I guess that's why I want her to revoke the divorce papers before I agree to talk.
In my opinion, I think you're being smart. If she's truly interested in reconciling, she should be willing to call-off the D. Otherwise, she'll just use relationship talk as an exercise in cake eating.
