I'm Back :( #2

[JRuss]

My take on the exchange is she was trying to figure out if she still has you wrapped around her finger. When you didn't run right back into a social engagement with her and picked the option that suggested you'd rather just see the dog, she got mad/uneasy and turned on the Passive Aggressive Guilt Machine to ratchet up pressure on you. That pressure unfortunately worked, you cracked and couldn't keep yourself from the "what does it mean" follow up (pursuit), and she then felt secure enough to slap you with the cold (distancing) stuff about how the dog exchange will go down, just so you didn't get to thinking she's anything but fully in control and still has your balls in her purse.

Next time, if there is one, just say "sorry, I have plans with a friend" and let HER sit around wondering for a change. Hmmm, plans with "a friend"? What does that mean? Is that code for "I have a date"? He has a date? Is he moving on? Has HE rejected ME?

Listen -- she very likely isn't coming back. That's the reality for almost all of us LBS, even those who are really good at DB (and I most certainly DON'T count myself in that number). If you can make yourself accept that, even if that reality truly [censored], you can start to free yourself from what has become a very unhealthy, toxic attachment to your WW. It's still really bad betting odds that you'll save your M, but detaching, living your own (great) life without her and without constantly filtering everything you do, say and think through the prism of your relationship with her, is the only way that a new (better) relationship could ever be possible. She just isn't going to come back to anyone who never stopped pining for her and never once made her think he had other options and is, no matter what, going to be ok without her. It unfortunately doesn't work that way once things get to where they are for the two of you. Your loyalty -- which should be a huge point in your favor (and is, outside of this R, right now) -- is actually a hindrance to what you're trying to accomplish. Let it go. Let her go.