I am looking for some advice on how to proceed and what to say . . . So here is the sitch . . .
Last night when H was putting son down for bed, son started crying as I left the room. Son was holding his arms out and crying "mama, mama, mama!" H commented that son just doesn't care about him and isn't interested in him. While this may be partially true, it isn't completely true. When H came home earlier in the evening, son ran to him and hugged his pant legs and repeated "dada, dada."
I tried affirm to him that son does indeed care about him. But I don't think he believed it. Not surprisingly and not that I expected it to. I should have immediately brought to his attention son's reaction when he came home, but didn't think of it right away.
My question is this: Should I bring it up tonight at dinner to try to help? If so, how can I gently bring this subject up?
Admittedly, this is a sore subject with me for a number of reasons. One, I have a really hard time validating and trying to bolster his fragile ego when he treats me like garbage. Two, this has been a recurring issue in our marriage. In the past, I would make suggestions on how to help him and he would just ignore my suggestions. I would get so frustrated that he would complain about something, but then do absolutely nothing to fix the problem. It's like he would just want to complain - I don't get it. If the problem bothers you enough to complain, I don't understand not wanting to find a solution or at least trying to do something different.
So should I bring it up again? If so, how? In the past, I would offer suggestions so a 180 for me, would not to give advice (and I know I shouldn't offer advice for a MLC spouse), so what, if anything, should I do? And this is sure to come up again as he frequently whines about son's lack of connection to him so any tips on how to handle this in the future would be greatly appreciated.
