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[Dawgs]

But my catch-22 is like what Betsey wants. I don't want man in my life who doesn't enhance, make it better, the real deal. I don't want just someone to ease the loneliness. I've had that. It only made me feel worse in the end. I certainly can't see to find quality.

When you learn the secret to finding the real deal, clue me in. There have been some fillers. But that's all they were, fillers. As you have told me earlier, I have a bit of work to do and need to sit still for a while. I do, in every sense of the word. But, there is part that wants the real deal, too. I'm not sure when I'll be ready for that one.

My ex pretended to be the real deal, but she wasn't. The more I thought about things, the more I realized what I thought was real was based in her head. I honestly think that we got married (on her end, anyway) was to never a real reason - I think that she was looking to fill a void, so to speak. Maybe a safety net. A former family friend of theirs told me that the first year she was truly in love, but the demons began to take hold. FML.

Until then...... I'll just have to continue on with all the other stuff to try to ease the lonliness.

Me too. I beat myself up sometimes. My hobbies help sometimes, well more often than not. But as you said, there's a void that still exists.

My best time spent is with D9. That's not a time filler. I truly get joy from our time together.

As it should be. Mine is, too. They are my rock. At times they can try me but I couldn't ask for better children. I just hate that they have to grow up like this.

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