Because all of the hobbies, business, even time with my friends (which had dwindled these days, sadly) are not things that can fill this space.
I'm flirting with the edges of that, too. My children fill my time but there are times when my mind wanders. But nighttime is the worst. I've been having trouble sleeping lately so all I do is stare at the ceiling or watch TV or play some silly game on my phone.
I do want to be in the not-alone arena. At least part of me does, anyway. The other part, well, doesn't care anymore.
There are moments in this life when you are so confident in the rightness of your actions, that not even for a second do you consider the option that you might be wrong.
