OMG - its like I've been touched by a celebrity! I've read all your posts in 'Piecing' - you're one of the success stories that gives hope. Particularly when you describe how you didn't do DB-ing right to start with.
Having said that I think your husband's return has as much to do with him as it does your efforts. Which is why I don't think my WH will return - he just doesn't want to : (
I apologised yesterday anyway, before I read your post. It did NOT go well. He thanked me and then told me not to beat myself up, because the marriage broke down because of the two of us. He told me the 'old' me would be beating herself up about it for a long time and he didn't want that for me or our son. So in a way I felt absolved and a bit released. Like I could move on a bit.
Then it all fell apart. I broke cardinal DB-ing rule - asked him if he thought we could ever give it a go. If he felt any love for me. Told him I loved him, was in love with him!!! (EEEK ARRGH). Cue a lot of squirming on his end saying "I don't know how many times we have to go through this."
I get confused because he says things like "If we continue down this path, we are getting divorced." And "unless things change we are getting divorced". I read a lot into the "if". Am I wrong to?
I don't quite know how but it became very quickly about money. I lost control and pointed out that he only gave me £200 for December, pleading poverty, when he spent £450 on the OW, on nice dinners and nights out. And on Wednesday when it was sleeting I asked him if he could pick our son up (he has car, I have a bus and long walk) and he pretended not to have read the message until an hour later - stupid move because WhatsApp read receipts showed he read it 3 mins after I sent it. I had kept that to myself but then told him I knew he had read the message and ignored me because I got riled up when he said he would look after me if the cancer returned - as if! When I can't even get a pick up for our son He went onto the defensive and accused me of spending too much - on self help books from Amazon! He walked off really angry and frustrated with me.
On the whole though, I felt I stood up for myself. But at the same time wish I hadn't brought up what I did about OW spend and the WhatsApp message - should have saved it for lawyers. Self control is not my thing : (
