7 months isn't that long when you bear in mind that the feelings of limerance can last up to 2-3 years, during which decision making can be rather foggy. XH and OW have been together for almost 3 years now.

So, what would 'poking the bear' look like to you and how do you think it would help?

With going dark and letting her go, she may initially be thrilled about this as she can pursue whatever she wants without you on her shoulder getting her attention. However, knowing that you are healing and moving on with your own life is actually more likely to get her thinking. Particularly if you are out and about doing some new things with new folk rather than sitting at home hoping she will call.

By this I don't mean dating or hanging out in bars - but I do mean joining the local cycling club if that's what you enjoy - or taking a language class - or going to Meetups - or a film group - or whatever..

Do you see that your posts are all still focused on her and we are encouraging you to focus on you? (I'm not poking you - I know it isn't easy - just making you aware.) It's just that the whole poking the bear, trying to control thing is a cheeseless tunnel you don't need to be in.

Leave her be on her own side of the street and set about creating the life you want for yourself. Believe you me, if she wants to catch you up, she will let you know :-)

T 13 M 7
Me 48 H 46
SS 15
BD 7.14 PA
D final 5.16 (H filed)

We receive & we lose, and must try to achieve gratitude & embrace with whole hearts whatever of life that remains after the losses - Dubus