She moved out...now the work begins...Part 4

[SBJ]

Just got off the phone with the W...kind of [censored]. Even though she was spewing about her relationship with her sister and BIL, it hurts not to be able to console her. I did my best to validate, but I'm not very good at it. She was pissed about rumors being spread about her and feel that they are coming from her sister. The rumors involve her and PA with OM. Again the W claims that it never happened, but I know that there was a EA and assumed a PA once she moved out.

How can we feel so betrayed by our spouse, yet still love them, get angry when they hurt, and still want things to work out between us?

I said at one point, "You know how I feel and what I want", and she replied that that was not possible if I still talked to her sister about our sitch. My response was that I don't speak to her about our sitch, but just common courtesy type things. They are my sons godparents and I am their daughters (my nieces) godfather. We live close and they call to check on me regularly.

The W is really upset about them...feels they are spreading rumors and also that they totally have disowned her. Again I tried to validate, but it was all I could do not to tell her to come home and we would deal with things together. I refrained from it, but man it was hard.