The attention from the OP is thrilling, b/c it appeals to her alter ego......which is not the person her family knows. The OP fantasy distracts her from the daily reality of life. IMHO, the fantasy state of mind could act as a blindfold in seeing the truth in OP. The WW's alter ego takes charge and partakes of the forbidden fruit, so to speak, and gets an immediate buzz. She goes back for more ego food, and OP lays it on thicker. The OP is giving ego strokes, and the WW is returning ego strokes. WW's alter ego tells her lies, as it grows into a monster, destroying M's, family, career, etc.
This is probably one of the best explanations that I have ever read. Ever.
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Honestly, I don't know why the WW will often affair down. I really don't think it is a conscious decision on her part. If you notice, her actions/attidude, etc., all seem unlike her normal self. Bottom line....it's all about how the OP makes the WW feel.
Truth. I think its more along the lines of the attention, not the "down/up." In my ex's case, her affair was with someone who fit the mold of the "bad boys" who treated her like sh*t. Which may sound odd on the surface, but knowing my ex's past history, it was sort of a familiarity for her. My IC (who was our MC) said that she missed the drama associated with it. So, it's not always affairing down - its about who gives her what she "needs."
There are moments in this life when you are so confident in the rightness of your actions, that not even for a second do you consider the option that you might be wrong.
