I will be blunt...it is usually the posters that come on here, that are filled with guilt and remorse and claim to be emotionally and verbally abusive that are being horrifically manipulated by the walk aways. Forgive yourself for not being super wife.
Please be careful in mediation. Fight for what works in your best interest. Don't agree to terms with the intention of winning your ex back.
(For some reason Walkaways get super nice and consider marriage counseling right before court dates.)