MLC H at age 32, maybe single mum with a toddler S

[Maybe]

My little boy is growing fast, sometimes it makes me sad because he is not living in a "whole family" might need to move between 2 homes in the future. But I start to recognise that's fear within me speaking. He will be a happy kid as long as me and H both love him.

H starts asking me for money to pay for the mortgage. I panicked a bit, but I also learn that things might get "worse", but me and my boy are healthy, are enjoying life, are together. And happiness is a choice.

I have bad days where it feels like nothing changes, and we will forever be in limber. But time is passing, and it's getting easier. I get mad myself sometimes for not changing quick enough, I still got upset by him, react in the moment, try to control things that are out of my control. But I know now straight after, and I try to rectify things the best I can. I allow myself to stay up after baby is sleeping to watch some mindless TV, have a wine. Life is still good, even I still feel like crying from time to time.

Letting go is not easier especially he comes in causally and chat and laugh like we used to. I just have to keep trying... and that makes me feel okay.