"I'm learning a lot of this now from my wife because since she filed for divorce these things are coming out when she just buried everything in the past."
Really? You really didn't think that cheating was going to hurt her and your family? You didn't think that as a role model for your kids, that behavior will forever remain with them?
"I think the only way I can show sympathy, understanding and true remorse is through acceptance of the divorce as being what needs to happen for her to begin to heal and be happy."
That's not how you show sympathy. It shows resignation. Remorse is something that is in your control. It's something that you show. And it takes time. You just sound like you want a magic bullet to fix things NOW even though you took 17 years to destroy it.
M-43 W-40 2D - 9 and 5
Emotion, yet peace. Ignorance, yet knowledge. Passion, yet serenity. Chaos, yet harmony. Death, yet a new life.
