Infidelity/WAH, my story pt 8

[PsySara]

Big developments happened this weekend. WH's family members came to visit Saturday-Monday. They are elderly and had a big part of my WH's upbringing. As soon as they walked through the door I embraced them and was smiling from ear to ear, I really like these relatives. We were all talking a mile a minute and then WH wanted to go get them something to eat. He quietly took me aside and wrapped his arms around me and thanked me. He said he felt himself melt inside when he saw me being so kind and affectionate with his relatives. I was surprised this was a watershed moment for him but chose to embrace it.

Later that evening he sat down with me and said he had a lot of reservations about our marriage. He said I have been very hurtful to him, that I have verbally and emotionally abused him, that my pride is a serious problem. I bit the inside of my cheek because it can be hard to feel sympathy and validate when the Cheater is projecting himself as the victim but this is where I really needed to do a 180. I tried to actually listen to how WH felt when he was arguing with me. I validated his feelings and apologized deeply for the time I reacted in anger and said hurtful things. Wh asked how and what he could do to help me heal. I told him I needed to think about that but for now we needed to start from ground zero. Bare minimum we needed to treat each other with respect and compassion.

We've had quite a few conversations since then. I have been very careful to monitor my reactions and not to speak from anger. Today was WH's birthday so I had an assorted fruit (dipped in chocolate) basket sent to him with balloons. He sent me back a text thanking me. On the way home I bought his favorite foods and had them ready when he came in the house. He was so happy and smiling. He doesn't want me far from him, wanted me to sit by him while he ate dinner, wanted me to tell him how my day was, he also wanted to talk about his day. He is a lot like he was when we were first starting our relationship.

I am walking into this with a beginner's mind. I want to relearn him, he seems to want to relearn me as well. IF this trend continues I am thinking of having a weekend away (kids at my mom's) and having a mini honeymoon. I also told my husband I will be removing my hijab at the end of this month. Mostly I am doing this because I have been dealing with some hostility in public and while it doesn't bother me, sometimes this happens when I have my children with me. WH seemed sad that I felt pressure to remove it but said he will support me.

He asked me to text him next time I go to the gym so he can join me. He seems curious about my GAL activities and my medical care. I am hopeful and cautious.