My kids had plans yesterday so I went out to lunch with a family member. She asked me what was the matter with H. That she and other family members have noticed his complete behavior change. I had no answer.
I got so angry as I was sitting there thinking of how I have always done for them and never myself. So I left there and bought myself a cell phone. would you believe I never had one? My H does, my kids do, but not me.
He was angry by the time I got home and I don't know why so I'm not sure if it was a good thing or not.
His aunt called tonight to tell me that his father is apparently spreading the word that we're getting a divorce. He said he believes it's the grass is greener and tried to tell him that its not but doesn't think it worked.
I've lost 20lbs since this started completely from stress however I'm trying to build on that. Another 20 is what's neded. I've tried making sure my hair and makeup are always done and I'm dressed in a way he would normally like. Essentially I'm trying to do all the things he has issues with, without going overboard. I'm leaving the house shortly after to give the appearance at least of GAL.
So why does it seem like things are getting worse, not better? Not even the same. He isn't speaking to me AT ALL but I just feel like he is so angry.
His appointment with A is Thursday. I'm so scared. I don't have one. I can't afford one. I'm not even sure where he's getting the money to pay for his. I'm waiting for the money to disappear from our account and then I'll be short trying to pay the bills. But in his mind set, it would never even be a consideration. I've almost lost my house twice before during his manic times when he spends more than we make.
Am I on the wrong track?
M:41 H:43 T:26yrs M:19 yrs S:15 D1:14 D2:9 Living together but separated
